That's Hot!
Oct. 10th, 2010 09:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dephigravityTitle: That's Hot!
Characters: Jared, Jensen, Chad, Paris
Rating: R (Hard)
Word Count: 1476
Disclaimer: If I did own them I wouldn't be on here, now would I?
Summary: Jared's bored and Jensen's busy, so to cure his boredom he accepts Chad's invitation to come hang. No parents, plentiful amounts of alcohol, and girls. What could possibly go wrong? Thank God Jensen's on speed dial.
Author's Note: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dolnmoon as part of that gifting meme that's been floating around. Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.
"Jared, I can't. My grandparents are here, and if I left now my parents would kill me."
Bored as hell and frustrated beyond belief, Jared rereads the text message for like the fifteenth time in less than as many minutes. What good were boyfriends for? Except for, you know, cheering you up and rescuing you from your own boredom, and don't forget the awesome making out and of course the sex. Well almost sex, they were still working on that part.
So he sighs once again and slides his phone shut and throws it to the end of the couch, wedging it into the cushions. Glaring at the silent and black television, he jerks forward to grab the remote and flips through impatiently before slapping it back down on the coffee table.
There should be some law about friends having to be available on a Friday night or something. Sitting at home all alone on a night when you should be partying is just cruel and unusual punishment, especially if you are one that is prone to bouncing off the walls like Jared is.
Lady Gaga blares from the phone, Jared shakes loose from his trance and dives the full length of the sofa to grab it, fumbling to figure out how to answer the damned thing. Stupid Smart phones anyway.
And success! Jared holds the phone up to his ear and way too eagerly answers, "Jensen?"
"Jensen? Are you cheating on me again Jay? A guy can only handle so many times, y'know."
"Chad? Dude you know I wouldn't even touch you if I had a vag!" Jared says as he rolls over to his back and drops a toss pillow over his face.
"That hurts man, like hot poker through my chest hurt," Chad says.
"So what, no boy on boy cuddling tonight? Bummer dude. Ya can come hang with me, my parents aren't home and there'll be girls and beer," Chad says, still not realizing that girls are not a sure-fire way to get Jared to come over.
"Yay," Jared says, dryly, trying to weigh his options. Drunk movie watching or attempting to beat Final Fantasy XII yet again? his face scrunches at the thought before finally giving in. "Fine, whatever but I swear if Candy or Bambi makes one pass at me, I'm gonna cut you, man."
So an hour later and Nikki is done throwing up in Chad's bathroom and now peacefully passed out on the floor while Chad is getting to know Paris all-too-well for Jared's liking. Overall he is thinking that maybe X-box wasn't such a bad idea after all. She moans again as she keens into Chad, lips locked and faces melding into one another's as Chad lifts his thumb up in a silent.
"Oh for the love of…" Jared says, rolling his eyes.
The leather loveseat sticks to the back of his knees as he gets up with a sickening sound. Rubbing his ass to coax away the numbness, he staggers to the bathroom and slams the door.
"God damn Chad, and his god damned love of bimbos," he mutters.
And that's when it only gets worse. Because now they are going full force, slapping the walls, creaking the couch, and god help him, they are talking. Not any old kind of talking, but that 1970's cheesy-porn you-found-under-your-dad's-bed kind of dialogue.
"You like that, baby?" Chad says from the other side of the door.
"That's hot," Paris replies.
"Kill me now," Jared says as he tries to cover his ears, a vain attempt to drown out the sounds and images now bombarding his every thought.
"Oh God, baby, your titties-" he says his words cut off by what Jared can only imagine.
"That's hot!"
Jared wants to do nothing but bolt, he doesn't care that he would most likely have to run the tens mile home but god he just needs out of here, right the fuck now.
"Paris, oh god, yes Paris, fuck yeah grab my dick."
"Mmph hot."
"Seriously?" Jared says, his mouth gaping incredulously at her lack of vocabulary.
The only thing that is keeping Jared from standing and ripping open the door is the knowledge that Chad is most likely completely butt-ass naked and two seconds away from blowing his load. Jared pounds his head relentlessly against the door, hoping that maybe he will cause a concussion to fog his thinking or pass out. Passing out would be heaven to him.
Gaga plays from deep in his pocket; he shoves his hand in and breathes a deep sigh of relief at the message.
"Bored out of your mind yet?"
Laughing, he quickly pads at the keyboard, "Dude, need you, like right now!" The phone is clutched tight in his hand after he sends the message, his foot now fidgeting spastically as he waits for the reply.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Jared skims the words and frantically shoots off another plea for help.
"I'm not even joking. I'm trapped in a bathroom with Chad and the biggest freaking moron in the world having sex on the other side of the wall. I swear, if she says 'That's hot' one more time I am gonna find Chad's dad's stash of alcohol, break a bottle and cut them both."
And then immediately he sends another before Jensen has the chance to respond.
"God, they're loud! I'm trying to devise a way to kill myself with either the shower curtain or the toilet plunger at this point. Help me Jensen One-Kenobi, you're my only hope!"
Now the couch is thumping against the wall, and Jared is seriously giving thought to rupturing his ear drums with some Q-tips. Gangly legs pull in tight as he starts to rock to himself, praying somehow it will just make it all stop.
"You are such a drama queen, you know this? Fine, but you are so going to owe me for this one, princess."
Thank God! Jared can do this, he just has to hold out for another ten minutes for Jensen to come bursting through the door and save him from all this craptacular fuckery.
"That's hot!"
Oh hell no! That's it, Jared can't stand it anymore, he has to get out. Jensen will be pissed but whatever; he can't be here. Listening to that. Not any longer than he has already been forced to endure.
The room spins as he regains his balance and turns to snap open the door. A flash of white Chad ass, and he slams it again, traumatized for life. Panic stricken and desperate, his eyes search for another option until they focus on the small window directly over the toilet.
Two long steps later, and he is climbing onto the porcelain seat and shoving at the glass. It takes more effort than he thinks it would but the painted shut window gives way and he shoves his arms through to grasp at the outside walls. Groaning, he scrambles his feet to gain a foothold as he plunges his chest through the hole.
Just a little bit more and he is home free, but he can't. God help him he can't get through, his jeans are caught somehow and he can't reach wherever it is. Back to plan A, Jensen should be here any minute, not exactly how he wants him to be found but hey at least he can't hear them anymore.
It's getting painful, window ledge cutting into his waist as he hangs from the side of the house. A chuckle drifts out of his lips, the realization that peaceful Friday nights don't seem so bad in hindsight.
Jensen's jeep screeches, grazing the sidewalk as he pulls up.
"Jensen!" Jared calls out, not caring about waking the neighbors.
Jensen pauses and comes around to the side of house and all but bursts into laughter at the sight.
"What do you think you are you doing?"
"I'm stuck," Jared says, his lips frowning over-dramatically. "Now shut up and help me down."
Jared glares as Jensen shakes his head and grasps at Jared's wrists, he tugs to no avail. Bracing his foot against the sprinkler spigot, Jensen pulls even harder and Jared feels his pants holding in place. Jensen grunts and pulls a third time, this time a loud and telling rip comes from behind Jared. Yelling Jared falls from the window and collapses on top of Jensen, both landing with a collective oof!
Jared lifts up to look mournfully up to the window and his torn pants as they flap against the siding. He turns back down to a full out laughing Jensen.
Jensen laughs even harder as Jared narrows his eyes and growls, finally silencing him with a playful slap to the chest.
"What? I can't help it. That's hot," Jensen smiles smugly and preparing to beaten to death.
"I hate you."
Characters: Jared, Jensen, Chad, Paris
Rating: R (Hard)
Word Count: 1476
Disclaimer: If I did own them I wouldn't be on here, now would I?
Summary: Jared's bored and Jensen's busy, so to cure his boredom he accepts Chad's invitation to come hang. No parents, plentiful amounts of alcohol, and girls. What could possibly go wrong? Thank God Jensen's on speed dial.
Author's Note: Written for
dolnmoon as part of that gifting meme that's been floating around. Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own."Jared, I can't. My grandparents are here, and if I left now my parents would kill me."
Bored as hell and frustrated beyond belief, Jared rereads the text message for like the fifteenth time in less than as many minutes. What good were boyfriends for? Except for, you know, cheering you up and rescuing you from your own boredom, and don't forget the awesome making out and of course the sex. Well almost sex, they were still working on that part.
So he sighs once again and slides his phone shut and throws it to the end of the couch, wedging it into the cushions. Glaring at the silent and black television, he jerks forward to grab the remote and flips through impatiently before slapping it back down on the coffee table.
There should be some law about friends having to be available on a Friday night or something. Sitting at home all alone on a night when you should be partying is just cruel and unusual punishment, especially if you are one that is prone to bouncing off the walls like Jared is.
Lady Gaga blares from the phone, Jared shakes loose from his trance and dives the full length of the sofa to grab it, fumbling to figure out how to answer the damned thing. Stupid Smart phones anyway.
And success! Jared holds the phone up to his ear and way too eagerly answers, "Jensen?"
"Jensen? Are you cheating on me again Jay? A guy can only handle so many times, y'know."
"Chad? Dude you know I wouldn't even touch you if I had a vag!" Jared says as he rolls over to his back and drops a toss pillow over his face.
"That hurts man, like hot poker through my chest hurt," Chad says.
"So what, no boy on boy cuddling tonight? Bummer dude. Ya can come hang with me, my parents aren't home and there'll be girls and beer," Chad says, still not realizing that girls are not a sure-fire way to get Jared to come over.
"Yay," Jared says, dryly, trying to weigh his options. Drunk movie watching or attempting to beat Final Fantasy XII yet again? his face scrunches at the thought before finally giving in. "Fine, whatever but I swear if Candy or Bambi makes one pass at me, I'm gonna cut you, man."
So an hour later and Nikki is done throwing up in Chad's bathroom and now peacefully passed out on the floor while Chad is getting to know Paris all-too-well for Jared's liking. Overall he is thinking that maybe X-box wasn't such a bad idea after all. She moans again as she keens into Chad, lips locked and faces melding into one another's as Chad lifts his thumb up in a silent.
"Oh for the love of…" Jared says, rolling his eyes.
The leather loveseat sticks to the back of his knees as he gets up with a sickening sound. Rubbing his ass to coax away the numbness, he staggers to the bathroom and slams the door.
"God damn Chad, and his god damned love of bimbos," he mutters.
And that's when it only gets worse. Because now they are going full force, slapping the walls, creaking the couch, and god help him, they are talking. Not any old kind of talking, but that 1970's cheesy-porn you-found-under-your-dad's-bed kind of dialogue.
"You like that, baby?" Chad says from the other side of the door.
"That's hot," Paris replies.
"Kill me now," Jared says as he tries to cover his ears, a vain attempt to drown out the sounds and images now bombarding his every thought.
"Oh God, baby, your titties-" he says his words cut off by what Jared can only imagine.
"That's hot!"
Jared wants to do nothing but bolt, he doesn't care that he would most likely have to run the tens mile home but god he just needs out of here, right the fuck now.
"Paris, oh god, yes Paris, fuck yeah grab my dick."
"Mmph hot."
"Seriously?" Jared says, his mouth gaping incredulously at her lack of vocabulary.
The only thing that is keeping Jared from standing and ripping open the door is the knowledge that Chad is most likely completely butt-ass naked and two seconds away from blowing his load. Jared pounds his head relentlessly against the door, hoping that maybe he will cause a concussion to fog his thinking or pass out. Passing out would be heaven to him.
Gaga plays from deep in his pocket; he shoves his hand in and breathes a deep sigh of relief at the message.
"Bored out of your mind yet?"
Laughing, he quickly pads at the keyboard, "Dude, need you, like right now!" The phone is clutched tight in his hand after he sends the message, his foot now fidgeting spastically as he waits for the reply.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Jared skims the words and frantically shoots off another plea for help.
"I'm not even joking. I'm trapped in a bathroom with Chad and the biggest freaking moron in the world having sex on the other side of the wall. I swear, if she says 'That's hot' one more time I am gonna find Chad's dad's stash of alcohol, break a bottle and cut them both."
And then immediately he sends another before Jensen has the chance to respond.
"God, they're loud! I'm trying to devise a way to kill myself with either the shower curtain or the toilet plunger at this point. Help me Jensen One-Kenobi, you're my only hope!"
Now the couch is thumping against the wall, and Jared is seriously giving thought to rupturing his ear drums with some Q-tips. Gangly legs pull in tight as he starts to rock to himself, praying somehow it will just make it all stop.
"You are such a drama queen, you know this? Fine, but you are so going to owe me for this one, princess."
Thank God! Jared can do this, he just has to hold out for another ten minutes for Jensen to come bursting through the door and save him from all this craptacular fuckery.
"That's hot!"
Oh hell no! That's it, Jared can't stand it anymore, he has to get out. Jensen will be pissed but whatever; he can't be here. Listening to that. Not any longer than he has already been forced to endure.
The room spins as he regains his balance and turns to snap open the door. A flash of white Chad ass, and he slams it again, traumatized for life. Panic stricken and desperate, his eyes search for another option until they focus on the small window directly over the toilet.
Two long steps later, and he is climbing onto the porcelain seat and shoving at the glass. It takes more effort than he thinks it would but the painted shut window gives way and he shoves his arms through to grasp at the outside walls. Groaning, he scrambles his feet to gain a foothold as he plunges his chest through the hole.
Just a little bit more and he is home free, but he can't. God help him he can't get through, his jeans are caught somehow and he can't reach wherever it is. Back to plan A, Jensen should be here any minute, not exactly how he wants him to be found but hey at least he can't hear them anymore.
It's getting painful, window ledge cutting into his waist as he hangs from the side of the house. A chuckle drifts out of his lips, the realization that peaceful Friday nights don't seem so bad in hindsight.
Jensen's jeep screeches, grazing the sidewalk as he pulls up.
"Jensen!" Jared calls out, not caring about waking the neighbors.
Jensen pauses and comes around to the side of house and all but bursts into laughter at the sight.
"What do you think you are you doing?"
"I'm stuck," Jared says, his lips frowning over-dramatically. "Now shut up and help me down."
Jared glares as Jensen shakes his head and grasps at Jared's wrists, he tugs to no avail. Bracing his foot against the sprinkler spigot, Jensen pulls even harder and Jared feels his pants holding in place. Jensen grunts and pulls a third time, this time a loud and telling rip comes from behind Jared. Yelling Jared falls from the window and collapses on top of Jensen, both landing with a collective oof!
Jared lifts up to look mournfully up to the window and his torn pants as they flap against the siding. He turns back down to a full out laughing Jensen.
Jensen laughs even harder as Jared narrows his eyes and growls, finally silencing him with a playful slap to the chest.
"What? I can't help it. That's hot," Jensen smiles smugly and preparing to beaten to death.
"I hate you."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-10-11 04:17 am (UTC)Real good.
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Date: 2010-10-12 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-11 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-12 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-11 05:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-12 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-11 06:49 am (UTC)That was funny. I loved it.
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Date: 2010-10-12 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-11 10:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-12 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-12 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-12 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 07:43 pm (UTC)|Meduza|
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Date: 2010-10-22 09:03 pm (UTC)